I married much too young ...
I married MUCH too young-15 yrs old. I was too young, but at least I was out of my home for good! My father was an alcoholic, and we didn’t get along well at all. So, when my best friends brother was released from jail, and he started hanging around her, the first thing he did was zero in on me. I didn’t like him, couldn’t stand him-at first. I believe this was one of those cases of "making someone love you".. lol. By that I mean that if I was sitting in a chair, then he was RIGHT THERE, sitting on the arm of the chair...If I was washing dishes, then he was right there beside me, helping...It seemed to me that no matter what I did, he was there.. SO, I guess I fell in love with him, because he SEEMED so in love with me. Anyway, through all kinds of trials and tribulations, we ended up married and then-as they say- "all hell broke loose"...
I can remember one night he tried to choke me to death with a TV cord because I had turned the thing up because I couldn’t hear it. He ! would leave me, for NO REASON, for days at a time....I would have no idea where he was, or why he left, or when he’d be back...And then, after a few days usually, he’d come back, all sorry and all....of course id be pissed....and he’d be sorry enough to bring the angels above to forgiveness...and like the dumb ass I was, I’d forgive him and let him come home.. Of course I’d know (or I would shortly),that he’d been screwing every sleaze bag he could get his hands on, doing drugs and Lord knows what else.. Anyway, I let this go on for four years. Finally, I took all I was gonna take and walked away.. I moved in at my parents house. One thing about me...Once I make my mind up, its made...No changing my mind at all....I had decided this was over, that id had enough, and I was definitely done.. Of course he didn’t understand that, and figured I was open to persuasion, as usual...He was wrong....
One night, about 2 or 3 weeks after we split, he comes to my folks house and asks if he can talk to me. .After repeated NO’s from me, he wouldn’t give up, so I figured if I went out and talked to him for a bit, then he'd leave...my parents lived in an apartment, so we went downstairs. He asked me to take him to the store for cigs and a drink and since I could do with a Pepsi myself, I agreed. Once we were back, we sat in my car and talked about things until I got tired of the "please give me ONE more chance baby"....and said I’m going inside.. next thing I know, he grabbed my arm and pulled me up to him and said he knew I had fu***d around on him (which wasn’t true, and he said I wasn’t going anywhere until we talked this whole thing out. I didn’t know what he was talking about and as I was starting to get extremely pissed about the whole thing, I told him to get the f**k out of my car, and out of my life and to leave me alone....I made a grab for the handle of the door, but before I could pull it, he grabbed me and yanked me towards him....he grabbed my face and pressed my cheeks together and held my face to his and said that I was his forever whether I liked it or not and that we were still married and he was gonna take what was his whether I liked it or not...he tried to kiss me and I tried to fight him off of me. he was stronger than me and held me arms so that I couldn’t move them...his mouth covered mine and I knew that if I could scream, which I would try to anyway, the parking place for my folks apartment was secluded, so no one would hear me...He took me by my face with his one hand and with the other hand guided/threw me over the seat into the back...By this time I was crying and begging for him to stop, but he wouldn’t. he just pressed me down flat on the seat and proceeded to rape me...when I could get enough air I tried to scream for help, but he put his hand over my mouth, or his mouth over mine, and held my arms over my head so I couldn’t do anything... afterwards he sodimized me...
I still cannot believe the man I married and loved did that to me....I just can’t.. I like to think he must have been drunk, that I couldn’t have possibly misjudged someone that badly....but, I suppose I did...I survived, I’m happy to say...I’ve told only one person of this, before now....and iI’ hoping he doesn’t remember....well, I had told him I was raped by my ex husband...that was it...No one else, not even my mom has heard any of these details....I am sooooo ashamed now that I didn’t do more to get him...he’s probably hurt others like me because of me....I didn’t go to police because I was only 19 and I thought he probably COULD get away with it, because we were still legally married....
If I only knew then what I know now...
~~~ 30yrs old, USA, if you don’t care, it (or he)cant hurt you..
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